New Year's Resolution

To get more in shape.
Yeah, I know, stereotypical blah blah blah always fails blah blah blah, but not this time broski. No sir.

I wouldn't necessarily say that I'm not in shape, but I could definitely be a bit healthier.

I've started hitting up the gym at least twice a week, on top of dancing twice a week. Now, a diet adjustment. Sigh. I love health food, but I also love.. not health food. hahaha. So. I've looked in to a few things, and I found this...

Seems simple enough, I like most of these foods.

Also seems easy enough, plus, come on! Alton Brown? Love.

And I don't know about this one, but worth a shot, no?

So. I just thought I'd share these interesting little thingy things I found, just because they seem so easy. Will the work? Time will tell...

Marianas Trench- Decided To Break It

I suck at life... and blogging.

Happy new year!
Failure. Haha.
So much has happened since my last blog post. It's insane. Let's start with the cons, and finish with th pros. hahaha.

CONS
-This past summer, I realized just how much of a downward spiral I was on.
-I started "seeing" this guy, who, in retrospect, was a jerk, and too old for me, and just an all around tire fire. I probably don't have to say that he hurt me.
-I realized that I was falling for someone close to me, who would more than likely never feel the same.
-I lost a family member, very unexpectedly, right after Christmas. It tore me apart.
-I lost an old friend, last weekend, again very unexpectedly, in an extremely shocking and horrifying way. It just opened new wounds on top of those already there.

PROS
-Key word, realized. I realized that I was in spiral mode. I fixed it. I can't say I'm completely there, and it's six months later, but I'm working on it.
-He hurt me, but because of that, I got to be really, really close with a friend I had kind of fallen out of touch with.  And his car was broken into. Karma's a bitch.
-I'm teaching dance classes this year/
-I attended an event called We Day, and holy mother of God was I inspired.
-I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING WITH MY LIFE!
-The feeling I have for this guy? They're mutual.

I'm in a good place right now, despite the loss of a few important people. I don't know. Other than that, I'm happy.

LIGHTS- Pretend

I am extremey shocked and upset right now. I don't even know what to think. My respect for certain peopole has completely gone out the window, and I couldn't even tell you specifically who. To be honest, I don't want to know specifically who. Let me tell you, there is a time and a place for getting wasted, and doing it at a christian staff party, in secret, is not it. This is a celebration of the kids we got to know over the summer, not a chance to booze it up when no one's watching. Now, while I may be guilty of drinking a drop or two, I know when it's appropriate and when it's not. Needless to say, I can't work there agian this summer, because I can't risk being placed with someone who took part in that, if they are even accepted back. I am immensly disgusted.
Now that that is somewhat off my chest...
My life has finally calmed down a bit! Dance is over, and it was a fantastic season. Won a few awards, whic is cool, I guess. Now to catch up on school work and find a job...
AND...
I'M GETTING A NEEDLE SHOVED THROUGH MY LIP ON WEDNESDAY!
Maybe after-dance piercings will become a tradition, see as this will be my third in a row... :P

Mayday Parade- When I Get Home, You're So Dead

I'm okay today.

Lately, things have been getting insanely stressful, and I've been on the verge of giving up, multiple times. My best friend is offically out of my life, as much as she can be, anyways, and I found a friend in the person I least expected.
Saturday night, I was so over everything. One hundred percent done. I have friend, and he's one of those friends you joke around with, but God forbid a serious conversation once in awhile. Not to mention I rarely see him. We were talking, and I just suddenly snapped. I lost it. I ranted for a good two hours. Did he once tell me that he didn't care, that wasn't interested, pretend to listen, even just leave without a word?
Not once. Not even close. He listened. That's all he did. And after I calmed down, I was amazed. How could this guy, who really I've never done anything but act like an idiot with, suddenly care so much?
In a nutshell, he made me realize that I am so much more than I was letting myself think. I am so much more than the labels and stereotypes. And I'm now working on disconnecting myself from my so called best friend. It feels good.

Jason Aldean- I Ain't Ready To Quit

PS- thanks for telling me I'm "not gross" ;)

Trashy Attention Seekers

I am kind of pathetic at blog updates. No big deal or anything. But as per usual, my life has been crazy, what with dance competitions coming up and finals in two weeks, looking for a year round job and applying to work at camp again.
What's new with me, you may be asking. Well, nothing too exciting, to be honest. I need a car. I need a paying job. I gained a family member. I lost my so called best friend. I might be a little bitter about the last one, but that's when happens when they claim they showed up at school both drunk and high. I called bull. I'm not an idiot. Anyways.
[I am aware that I have done a decent amount of complaining in this blog already, but that's fine.]
I am so sick and tired of putting up with people who spend their time "partying" (aka getting drunk and hooking up with someone) at every opportunity. People who sleep with one person to get back at someone else, then sleep with yet another to get back at the revenge partner. People who drink until they hit coma status. People who expect their boyfriend to forgive them after they cheat on him at a party, completely wasted and high as a kite. People who are absolutely hammered and practically do the nasty right there in the middle of the room with someone who initially expressed interest in you. People who are supposed to be your friends, and turn out to be anything but.
I'm not saying I'm a saint, because that is the opposite of true. But I'm really sick of only being a "friend" when a certain someone either needs to complain or throw something in my face.
I'm going to end this little rant here, go start it with the person who needs to hear it.
I leave you with this-
Song of the day: Cam Hunter of DWW- G.T.F.O

Happy Anniversary

To this blog! Updates are so few and far between that I almost feel bad. Life has been kinda crazy though. Let's start by saying that this summer was pretty much fantastic. I worked at a camp this summer, and my very first day I felt that no one could be more illsuited to the job. I felt that I was 100% out of place, that I didn't belong there.I soon found that that wasn't the case. I was welcome with open arms, and I've had life changing experiences involving people I hadn't known for more than a week. I was able to connect with kids who had no idea where I was coming from before this, and were so completely ingrossed in everything I and the other staff had to say by the end. Its mindboggling, the effect you have on a kid as a camp counselor. Its frightening, and exciting, and a million other emotions, all at once.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

I probably don't need to say that that's Ghandi speaking. Its a quote that doesn't need an explaination. You want to see something change? Then change it. It doesn't have to be something huge, because even just makng one person's day better is huge.

My dream is go on a trip with Free The Children. My daily life consists of living my life, and trying to find a way to make this dream happen, while making the small things count.

Song of the Day- Kings and Queens- 30 Seconds To Mars

Bring Me To Life

So here's the thing. I'm kind of in love with this song. If my life were a book, this chapter would be entitled Bring Me To Life.
I am finding life really busy, and really challenging right now. I'm being challenged spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. I feel like right now, school and dance are taking over my life. It's pulling me away from other things equally important, especially to me. In short, I am stressed, and I just about had a breakdown this morning.

Save me from the nothing I've become.


Song of the day: Bring Me To Life- Evanescence ft. Paul McCoy

How can you see into my eyes like open doors
Leading you down into my core
Where I’ve become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I’ve become

Now that I know what I’m without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I’ve become

Bring me to life
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)
Bring me to life

Frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead

All this time I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought without a voice without a soul
Don't let me die here
There must be something more
Bring me to life

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I’ve become

(Bring me to life)
I’ve been living a lie, there’s nothing inside
(Bring me to life)